Jose laughs first ..and United might well laugh longest

APART from the Queen’s place and the Prime Minister’s abode, Jose Mourinho’s living quarters must be the most commonly known in the country.

Buckingham Palace, 10 Downing Street and the Lowry Hotel in Salford – three of the nation’s landmark addresses.

So it was not difficult for a pair of Italian TV pranksters – as they would probably like to be known – to track Mourinho down and hoodwink him into signing a Manchester United jersey that had Antonio Conte’s name on the back of it (below). Side-splitting, I know.

Yet, remarkably, at least one man did find it amusing. The man who has been as miserable as January all season, Jose Mourinho.

It looked like he was smiling all the way to his suite.

No wonder. It has been a cracking week for Mourinho, news leaking out of Old Trafford that it is only a question of when they announce his new, extended contract.

But the significance of the extension is not just personal, this is Manchester United drawing the battle lines.

Of the Big Six clubs, four have managers who, as it stands, will be out of contract at the end of next season.

There have been doubts about the longevity of all four.

Surely Arsene Wenger has to pack it in soon, Antonio Conte and Chelsea looks like a divorce waiting to happen every week, while Pep Guardiola’s intensity suggests another sabbatical would not be a surprise.

Mourinho completes the quartet and, in August, will be heading into that third season when meltdown is almost guaranteed.

It still might be. After all, a new deal only means a fatter pay-off for the severance king.

Yet this is United and Mourinho making a show of stability – a gesture that says, while the battle might be lost this season, they are ready for the war.

With Manchester City and whoever else.

In talks, you can bet Mourinho has not just negotiated himself a considerable rise.

Not all of his verbal missives are premeditated, but when, on Boxing Day, he labelled the £300million he has spent on players as “not enough”, you can bet he wanted the boardroom to be listening.

And what are they about to do? Make a signing that will work out at costing £3.37m a month for the next four-and-a-half years.

That’s a £182m investment in a footballer likely to have minimal resale value at the end of his contract. Alexis Sanchez will be solely a Jose signing, a player representing value only in the sense that he is guaranteed to help the current manager try to win the title not just next season, but for a few seasons ahead.

If Mourinho’s imminent new contract shows United’s faith in him, the Sanchez deal will apply the rubber stamp.

The Old Trafford board will be aware of reservations among the fanbase, particularly about Mourinho’s style of football, but they will point to a Premier League goals tally that is only topped by Manchester City and Liverpool. By sanctioning the move for Sanchez, they are giving the Reds boss yet another attacking option.

And by giving Mourinho a new deal, they are inviting him to do what he has failed to do anywhere else. Stay for an era, leave a legacy more memorable than tantrums and trophies – and, even in the age of City, restore United’s long-term domination.

Pretty much everywhere he has been, he has signed contract extensions and not come close to seeing them out.

But, even from his room in the Lowry, it seems like Mourinho might just fancy it this time around. SUNDERLAND have kindly offered to rip up the remaining 18 months of Jack Rodwell’s £70,000-a-week contract and let him leave the club for nothing.

Rodwell has turned down the generous offer and the Pope will take mass on Sunday.

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