CAN’T STOP CHATTING TO MY EX

Dear Coleen

I have been happily married for 18 years. During that time I often wondered what happened to an ex-boyfriend.

We broke up, not because we didn’t get along, but it was circumstances that made it impossible for us to be together.

We reconnected online and we haven’t stopped talking since. He is also happily married.

I’ve admitted to my husband that I’ve got back in touch with my ex and also that I’d like to meet up with him when we go on holiday.

I currently Facetime my ex all the time and it’s like heaven. I feel like I’ve opened a Pandora’s box, though! I don’t want to leave my husband, nor do I want to stop talking to my ex – I am so torn inside. Please help!

Coleen says

I get lots of letters like yours – women and men who’ve reconnected with an ex (often ‘the one who got away’) and it all seems incredibly romantic.

That’s the appeal – it’s like stepping back in time to 20 years ago when you were younger and didn’t have the responsibilities you have now.

You conveniently forget the rubbish bits about that relationship and the reasons you split up.

I know you say it was circumstances that broke you up, but I think if you’d been that determined to stay together, you would have.

You can’t have both I’m afraid and if you love your husband as you say you do and value the life you’ve built up over the past 18 years, then don’t let things go any further with your ex.

One night with this guy and you could destroy everything you’ve created with your husband. Stop and concentrate on your marriage before doing something you might regret.