CLIQUEY MUM IS MAKING ME WANT TO MOVE

Dear Coleen

I moved to a new area two years ago with our two young children. I did make a few friends at the school gates, but they’re all quite cliquey.

There is one mum who is awful and her daughter is a bit of a queen bee and quite mean to the other children. She began picking on my daughter, so I spoke to their teacher about it and she called this mum in.

She’s now turned it around on me and is refusing to speak to me and all the other mums have followed suit.

My daughter isn’t invited to any parties and I’m left out of all the coffee mornings. I’m completely miserable and want to move away but my husband thinks I’m overreacting. What can I do?

Coleen says

You need a focus and some friends that don’t revolve around school. I don’t know what your situation is, but are you looking for a job? Or could you get a hobby, like going to the gym after school drop-off so you’re not hanging around worrying whether the mums like you or not?

It’s horrible when this sort of thing happens and some mums can be worse than their kids when it comes to being mean!

I know it’s an awful feeling when you’re left out but, seriously, do you really want to be welcomed in and become friends with these women? They sound dreadful!

Keep an eye on the bullying thing, but otherwise I’d just advise you to stop worrying about it so much. If your daughter joined some local clubs, both of you would probably make some new friends – friendships don’t have to revolve around school.

I wouldn’t uproot my life because of a few mean mums. The older your kids get, the less you have to do with other parents. By the time they’re at high school there’s no hanging around – you just drop or pick up and go. It’s a phase and not something to uproot your life over.