Worried losing my job will damage dating prospects

Dear Coleen

I work from home tutoring and until recently I had a job as a freelance writer. The company I wrote for closed this year and I’ve been looking for work.

However, I’ve been applying for jobs for weeks and haven’t had an interview. Due to not having much work, I am living back at home with my parents.

At the beginning of the year I joined an online dating site. At the time of joining I still had my freelance writing job. I haven’t updated my profile to reflect the job loss, as I’m still busy applying for more freelance writing work and hope to get something soon.

My worry is that if I meet a man, he will find a 35-year-old woman who lives with her parents and doesn’t have much of an income a turn-off, especially if he is looking, as I am, to start a family.

How do I come across as positive about my situation? Also, I don’t want to change my profile as I know it will affect the number of people who contact me. Should I admit that I had the freelancing job at the start and due to company closure I no longer have the writing work?

Coleen says

You’re overthinking it. What’s wrong with saying you’re a home tutor and freelance writer? That’s the truth. You don’t have to go into forensic detail about your job situation – it’s something that would come up in conversation naturally when you’re on a date and you get talking about your lives.

Also, I’m not sure why you’re focusing so much on your job. Most people don’t find someone attractive based on how good their CV looks – or at least they certainly shouldn’t.

If I were you, I’d look at the rest of your profile and see if there’s anything you can add to that, which really gets across what you’re like as a person – your interests, your likes and dislikes and so on. It’s about the whole package.

Living at home with your parents is a temporary thing and I’m sure it would bother you a lot more than any guy you met. If you have an amazing chemistry with someone, where you happen to live is neither here nor there.

I think you need to feel a bit more confident in yourself and what you have to offer as a person.

Good luck with the job hunt.

Am I a turn-off as I’m back home with my parents?