And so to the 5 BIG QUESTIONS of the week

1 Guernsey to set up suicide clinics. As someone who’s holidayed there can I say there’s no finer place to contemplate topping yourself?

2 Sir Ringo Starr joining Sir Paul Mccartney as knights. If they’re looking down, will John and George have finally found a good reason to be the first Beatles to die?

3 Waitrose bringing out an avocado-shaped egg to keep the middle-classes happy. Why not bring out a Scotch egg to keep the drinking classes happy?

4 The EU fisheries dispute. Should we reserve most sympathy for incontinent fishermen who truly are desperate to take back control of their waters?

5 Is the most cliched thing about the most cliched of families that both Donald Trump Snr and Jnr are accused of having affairs with a Playboy model?