OFFENDED BY WHAT SCHOOL TEACHER SAID

Dear Coleen

I was mortified recently when my five-year-old daughter’s teacher told me she’d spat at one of the boys in her class after she and her friends wouldn’t let him join in a game.

I spoke to her about it and she admitted leaving him out, but said he’d spat first and then the girls spat back!

Spitting is not something she’s done before and she’s generally a very good girl. The teacher had a bit of a go at me and said she trusts this boy to tell the truth. So is she saying my daughter is a liar?

The more I think about it, the angrier I’m getting. How much of a big deal should I make about this?

Coleen says

It sounds as if your daughter is probably still in reception class and stuff like this crops up in the first year of school (and beyond!).

They’re starting to assert their personalities and learn how to get along with each other. This is a good opportunity for the teacher to give some lessons on kindness, inclusion and not reacting in a bad way, even if someone’s been provoking you.

I honestly wouldn’t let it eat you up too much. I bet the kids all moved on some time ago and it’s been forgotten.

I think you’re probably more upset because you think the teacher is being unfair, believing this boy over your daughter, so why not meet with her again?

Ask if there are any other examples of her behaving badly or being mean to other kids?

We all like to think our kids are angels, but that’s unrealistic. And, if they were perfect, that would be a reason to worry too!