SISTER UPSET HER DAUGHTER IS GAY

Dear Coleen

My sister is having trouble accepting that her daughter, who is an only child, is a lesbian. She has always been a fantastic and supportive mother so I’m really surprised she’s acting this way.

But she has spoken to me about how disappointed she is that her daughter won’t fall in love with a man, get married and give her grandchildren.

I’ve always been very close to my niece, who has been confiding in me about how sad she is over her mother’s reaction, and my heart just breaks for her and I don’t know how to reassure her.

How can I heal what could soon become a rift between the two of them?

Coleen says

Your sister does know what century we’re in, right? Her daughter, your niece, can still get married and have children, despite being gay.

So your sister doesn’t have to lose out on becoming a grandmother – but she may lose out on having a loving relationship with her only child if she carries on this way. Your sister should love her daughter for who she is. What on earth has her sexuality got to do with anything? She’s still her daughter, what does it matter if she’s gay?

I feel so bad for your niece. Surely this is the big fear for people coming out – that their friends and family won’t accept them? It must have been such a huge deal for her to come out and tell her mum she was gay, and after showing all that courage her mum let her down badly with her reaction.

And it’s not for any good reason on your sister’s behalf – a gay person can get married and have a family. Tell your sister she risks losing her daughter if she carries on this way.