HE SENT NAKED PICS TO WOMAN

Dear Coleen

My husband has a busy job and travels a lot for work. The other day his phone was on the kitchen worktop and kept beeping. I know I shouldn’t have, but I looked and found a string of texts to and from a woman he works with.

I clicked on a few and discovered he’s been sending naked photographs of himself to her. I’ve met her several times and she’s even met our kids at a company BBQ.

She replied to his messages, sending naked pictures of herself too. He says he has broken off contact, but I still think about these texts all the time.

He was very apologetic but he doesn’t seem to think he’s been cheating. He says that he’s never slept with her or even kissed her. She’s married too and he said they did it to let off steam, and not because it meant anything.

But now I just can’t trust him and I can’t move on, and he doesn’t even seem to think he’s done anything wrong.

Coleen says

Of course he’s done something wrong and don’t let him tell you otherwise! I don’t think he can excuse this by saying he hasn’t cheated just because he hasn’t kissed her or slept with her. He’s still massively crossed the line of what’s acceptable within a marriage by swapping rude pictures with another woman. Yet he’s almost dismissing it.

For some reason, some men just don’t see the internet or phone stuff as cheating, but you don’t have to kiss to cheat.

And you need to explain this to him. How would he feel if it had been you texting pictures of yourself to some guy at work? I bet he’d be furious.

Tell him how hurt and let down you feel, how you can no longer trust him and that he now has to work hard to build that trust back up.

Don’t let him dismiss this. In fact, I think his reaction to this situation is almost as bad as what he’s actually done.