I’VE FOUND OUT MY DAD IS CHEATING

Dear Coleen

I’m a 19-year-old girl and still live at home with my parents. For a while now I’ve suspected my dad has been cheating on my mum, who he’s been married to for 22 years.

When mum wasn’t home, he’d take his phone into the bathroom or into the garden to talk in private to someone. And he became really funny about me using his laptop when it never bothered him before.

Anyway, my suspicions were confirmed when I saw some messages between him and another woman, talking openly about where they’d meet. Some of the exchanges were really intimate. There was no doubt in my mind what he was up to.

Now I’m stuck about what to do. I want to tell my mum because I can’t bear him making a fool of her and I think she has a right to know, but I also don’t want them to split up. Please help.

Coleen says

What a horrible situation to be in. I would speak to your dad first and admit you found the messages.

Be prepared that he’ll probably be angry with you for going through his private messages, but explain you’d suspected he’d been cheating for a while and that you are now in the terrible position of keeping this secret from your mum.

See how he reacts and give him the chance to talk to your mum about it first, and about what they’re going to do next.

I think it would be better if she heard it from him.

Now you know about the affair, I don’t think you can bottle it up because that will have a damaging effect on your relationship with both parents.

Hopefully, your dad will realise that and talk to your mum.