MY EX WANTS ME BACK BUT I’M NOT SURE

Dear Coleen

I was seeing my ex-boyfriend for 18 months before he ended things because he wasn’t sure about having a serious relationship.

I was heartbroken and didn’t see it coming, but that was four months ago and I’ve done really well to move on from it, and I’m now seeing someone else, although it’s very early stages.

Now my ex has been in touch, saying he wants us to try again and that he thinks he’s ready to settle down after all. He blamed his ex for our break-up, saying she hurt him when she dumped him, so he finds it hard to trust people.

We’re both 29, but he’s less mature than I am and still loves partying, and generally behaving as if he’s 10 years younger, so I just don’t know how honest he’s being.

He doesn’t know about the other guy I’ve been seeing, so I suppose there’s a chance he’s being honest and it’s not just that he’s jealous because I’m with someone else. What do you think?

Coleen says

Well, I’d be careful about jumping straight back into a relationship with him.

Perhaps the time apart has made him realise that what he had with you was special, but it could be that he’s just missing other things like sex and friendship, and he hasn’t met anyone else.

He needs to prove to you that he’s serious so, if you still love him and you do want to try again, then take it slowly and make sure you both want the same things.

You don’t say how you feel about this new relationship. It might be worth thinking about how that could develop and giving it a proper chance.