At 14 my dad took my birthday money to buy drugs. I cried when he did that but he called me stupid. He was my idol... it tore me apart Drug & crime culture blighted footie ace’s childhood

started to take it, got hooked and became an addict. It really, really did tear me apart. I hated him for it.

I’ll always remember one birthday. I think I was 14. I got a few cards from my grandma and a few family members.

There was about £40 in there altogether and my dad said: “Did you get any money?” I told him I’d got some for my birthday.he just said, “OK, give it to me and I’ll give it you back.” I knew why he

wanted it. I knew I wasn’t going to get it back, because he was now addicted. He’d not got a job and he was not even selling it any more because he was using it all. It took over his whole life. “Give me money.” How do you tell your dad no? So, basically, he took it off me. I remember crying. He told me to stop crying, stop being stupid, and he’d give it back to me. I’ve never seen the money since.

He was on that stuff for 10 years and that’s a long time to be taking it.

Then he started trying to sell it again and the only saving grace was when he got put in prison for two years for supplying again. He tried to sell some to an undercover police officer. I was about

20 when that happened.

As I was starting to progress in my career I distanced myself from him. My grandmother would tell me about what he was up to. She said he needed help, that he looked like a skeleton, and I’d be embarrassed to bring him to football matches. That was what hurt, because I always wanted my dad there. When I was younger, he was my idol. He used to come to my games.

When he went to jail for those two years, I prayed it would change him. In the end, after he came out, two of his closest friends took him to a house and locked him in for a few weeks to try to wean him off it.

That cleaned him up. It was never going to be easy. Even in prison, they gave him drugs to substitute for the heroin.

He’s not a weak person but once you get addicted, it’s hard.

However, once he put his mind to it, I knew he could give up, for the sake of his family.

We are fine now. He came to my wedding; that was an emotional day.

He has realised he made mistakes, and has apologised for them – and for not being there for a big part of my life.

Jermaine tells all in his book STORY Ex-footie ace’s autobiography Mental: Bad Behaviour, Ugly Truths and the Beautiful Game by Jermaine Pennant is out this Thursday in hardback, published by John Blake.