I KICKED OUT MY HUSBAND BUT HE’S BACK

Dear Coleen

I was married for 26 years before my husband cheated on me with a colleague.

I only found out because I went through his emails. I kicked him out so he went to live with her.

This was almost two years ago. A few weeks ago he turned up at my house unexpectedly and told me he still loves me and that he wants to come back home.

He says he was flattered by the attention, but that he can’t get over me and realises he’s made a huge mistake.

I’ve been on a few dates since he left, but I haven’t met anybody who I have any real feelings for.

My husband has moved into a rented flat near my house and he calls me every night, telling me how much he loves me. What do I do?

Coleen says

It would be all very well if he left a couple of months ago and then realised he’d made a mistake – but two years?

What I’d like to know is whether this other woman kicked him out – or whether he chose to end their relationship. I think that makes all the difference in the decision you make. If she’s had enough of him and he’s returning to you because you’re a nice, safe option who hasn’t gone anywhere in the last two years, then that’s not on.

But if he was the one who ended it because he really does love you and made a huge mistake, then that’s slightly different.

Even then, you have to think long and hard about how you’d make it work. Two years is a long time and you’d have to rebuild an awful lot of trust. Don’t get back with him just because you’re scared of being on your own.