I WANT A FAMILY, NOT A CAREER

Dear Coleen

I’m a teenage girl currently working towards my GCSES, but I’m already thinking about the future. My problem is that I’ve always wanted to have a family above anything else and I don’t have the same ambitions to just make money, and ‘success’ to me is being surrounded by people who love you.

However, I have a chronic health condition and although it wouldn’t stop me getting pregnant, there could be complications, including the fact that any child I had would be 26% more likely to have my illness, which causes me anxiety. There’s also a chance that pregnancy could put my life in danger.

I get very good grades at school and everyone expects me to have a good career and want me to “aim big”. How do I cope with this?

Coleen says

I think you need to take a little step back here. You want to have a partner and a family, but first you need money and stability in order to give your kids a comfortable life. So you do need to think about how you’re going to achieve your dream.

It’s great that you’re doing well at school and have this fantastic brain, so use it to get what you want.

As far as your physical health goes, you’re worrying about things that haven’t presented themselves yet. Who knows where medical science will be in 10 years when you’re at a point where you’re ready to start a family. And if it’s really troubling you, then talk to your doctors who will hopefully be able to provide some reassurance, and perhaps get some genetic counselling, too.

You sound as if you’ll make a fantastic mum, but be in the right place before you go down that route. Good luck.