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Grew up on the same street as Gary, and played alongside him for Wales Managed Gary at Leeds, where they won the First Division title in 1992 Played for Leeds while Gary was breaking through, and has struggled with his own demons

I know he is our lad, but since he has gone we have never heard a bad word said against him. We’ve got lovely memories, but no answers. All the time your mind thinks about why.

We haven’t got a clue.

If you don’t know the reason it happened you are never at peace. We didn’t know there was anything wrong with Gary. You never recover. Never. It’s the biggest shock anyone could ever experience. At such an early age, deary me. People on the outside looking in would think he had everything going for him. But something was troubling him.

There’s been some brilliant people trying to help us. Chris Coleman, for instance, has been good whenever I’ve met him.

It doesn’t get any easier. You can live with it more if, say, it was a car accident. Or if you knew he was ill, or could see he was ill, but we didn’t know anything. One thing it’s done, I hope, is that it has helped open the doors for people to talk about mental issues. All we can think is that Gary was suffering from depression, although you’d never have known. He would put a smile on his face all the time. But that’s a man thing, isn’t it?

I just hope people learn from our experience. I hardly watch football any more.

No, Carol won’t watch football.

It’s too much for me if I watch it. I can still see him there playing. So I can’t do it, no. I can’t watch it. I got that dreadful phone call from Gordon Strachan. He said: “Gary’s died?” “Gary who?” I replied. “Gary,” said Strach. “Speedo.” I was surprised, shocked, stunned – it was hard, almost impossible, to take in.

It’s all hard to understand, but something Vinnie Jones once told me has stayed with me. I was expressing my disbelief, how can anybody do that? Vinnie disclosed he had once been on the verge of doing the same thing. An inexplicable dark moment.

Seven years on, the questions st linger about why football st Gary Speed took his own life the age of 42. In Gary Spee Unspoken – The Family’s Untold Sto serialised exclusively in the Mirror, h widow Louise has told how their so Tom and Ed have helped her cope.

Now his parents Roger and Car reveal they will never recover. And Gar football friends remember the terrib day they heard that he was dead.

PROUD At memorial match in February 2012 I was in the press room to cover Swansea’s Premier League game with Aston Villa. Suddenly, someone wanted a word. “What’s the problem?” I asked. Back came the reply that Gary Speed had committed suicide. I fell back against the wall and felt absolutely s***. All kinds of emotions went through my head. Why Gary? What has happened? What the hell has gone on? I’d known him since he was a kid – since he was my paper boy. Why hadn’t he asked to have a word with me? But as a professional footballer you often keep many things to yourself. EMOTIONAL News was a shock LOVED & LOST Gary’s death left family & pals stunned WINNERS Howard and Gary, both circled, in team shot with cup I received a phone call early on the Sunday morning from Robbie Savage. He told me what had happened – I told him not to be so stupid and put down the phone. An hour or so later, there it was on the TV – Gary was dead. I just couldn’t believe it. I think I went into shock. He was such a great bloke. After I hit hard times financially later in life, if he saw me he would always ask if I was all right for money. One day, I went to his house when he was with Newcastle United and he asked me if I wanted any boots. It was up to me what I did with them, maybe sell them to make a few quid. I ended up coming out of his garage with around 30 pairs. I will never forget his kindness.GIFTS Gary helped out Mickey TRUE Goodis

Carol: Roger: Carol: Roger: Carol: Roger: