MATES DON’T SEEM TO CARE AFTER SPLIT

Dear Coleen

I recently broke up with my girlfriend, whom I’d been with for nearly six years.

In the end, it was mutual but, although I could see it was for the best, I still love her and miss her a lot. I suppose I would have been willing to try to make it work, but she’d had enough.

Now, our friends seem to be going to great lengths to make sure she’s OK – inviting her out all the time and going round for heart-tohearts. Pretty much none of them have even asked how I’m doing.

I feel embarrassed to say I’m not doing great and that I’m missing her, but I could do with some support, too. What do you think?

Coleen says

I think it’s a real shame that you don’t feel you can reach out to your mates and I absolutely think you should.

There is nothing embarrassing about it – why wouldn’t you be just as heartbroken as she is? She’s probably the one doing better as she was more certain that breaking up was the right thing to do.

Please talk to your friends – go for a pint, tell them you’re struggling a bit to move on. And I bet if you do that, the invites will start coming in.

They have probably assumed you’re OK because maybe you’re acting as if you are. Distracting yourself with social things is a really good way to start to move on. Speak up and good luck with it all.