MY HUSBAND ABANDONS ME FOR PALS

Dear Coleen

My husband and I used to be great as a couple, but not any more. I’m a stay-at-home mum with three kids and he’s the main breadwinner.

He works 9am-6pm every day and never takes time off to spend with us. After work he thinks it’s OK to spend the evenings with his friends, sometimes until 1am.

I go to bed crying because I don’t understand why he’d rather stay out all night with them than spend quality time with the children and me. I feel like a single mother.

I suggested one night that my parents babysat the kids so we could have some time together, which he agreed to, but then he let me down at the last minute and saw his friends instead. It’s also starting to cause arguments.

He just does as he pleases and I refuse to cook his meals now as he’s never home to eat them.

Coleen says

He’s totally avoiding the family home for whatever reason and living like a single guy. So, I think it’s crucial that you find out why he’s doing that. What’s he avoiding?

Maybe he’s going through some kind of personal crisis, but it needs to be confronted because his behaviour will be impacting on the kids and creating a toxic atmosphere at home. He’s not engaging with you or trying to save your marriage.

You have to tell him you’re not prepared to let things carry on the way they are. He either commits to trying to make things work or you go your separate ways.

You’re already going about your life like a single parent, so what do you have to lose? Lay your cards on the table – he needs to know how serious you are.