SHE’S AGAINST ME KEEPING EX AS FRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’m getting married next year and I’m very happy about it. I’ve met the love of my life and I can’t wait for us to start our lives together.

However, there’s one thing that’s causing a problem between us. I’d like to stay friends with my ex-girlfriend, and my fiancée is dead against it. I went out with this girl for eight years and we were friends before that, so I’ve known her a very long time. I don’t see why I have to cut her off and think my fiancée is being unreasonable and a bit insecure. What do you think?

Dear Coleen

I think she’s feeling insecure, but I can see why. I understand your point of view, too – you know she’s just a friend and there’s no more to it, but the point is you were an intimate couple for eight years and when you’re starting married life, you don’t want that in your orbit all the time.

I don’t think you should have to cut off this girl completely, but I don’t think it can be how it was before because you have to respect how it’s making your fiancée feel.

When I got together with Ray, I was still close to my first husband, Shane, and we’d speak a lot on the phone – sometimes every day. One day Ray just came out and said he wasn’t happy about it.

Initially, I thought “don’t be ridiculous”, but when I put myself in his position, I thought, “yep, it would drive me insane if my partner was that close to an ex”, so we found a happy medium.

I think you can work out a compromise, but don’t let an ex jeopardise what you have with the love of your life. And also ask yourself honestly why you want to stay close to this other girl.