LIVING WITH MUM HARMS MY MARRIAGE

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for six years now and we have no children. After a tragedy in our family, my mother and my siblings live with us. She actually moved in before I met my husband and she’s still here because we don’t have the funds to find her alternative accommodation.

My husband has stopped talking to us and won’t sit down to dinner with us because of the situation. However, I’m the one footing most of the bills, including the house rent, because his job doesn’t pay well enough. I’m tired of the marriage, it’s not working and I’m beginning to resent him.

Coleen says

I can see this is a stressful situation for you, but you have to try to see things from his perspective too and consider why the marriage isn’t working.

Is he being unreasonable or is it the situation that’s made things difficult? You started your married life living with your family and that can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. You probably don’t have the space and time to be alone together and that can affect intimacy. He probably resents that.

Money is obviously an issue, but I also think you’ve stopped communicating properly. Instead of avoiding each other, you need to have a frank conversation where you’re both honest about how you feel, and discuss whether you can see any ways to make the situation better and get your marriage back on track. Talk about what options are open to you and any compromises you can make.