Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
NOEL’S WITTY VIEWS ON TOUR LIFE
dressed in Pretty Green, I was saying to my mam: “F***ing hell, why does Liam want to get Oasis back together? He must be loaded.”
Every f***er in a parka, the middle of the summer, hat on, four pairs of sunglasses. invited to my dressing room, no one’s in their underpants. When you get invited to a football dressing room there are Spanish guys with their d***s hanging out.
I had to shake Robinho’s hand once when he was fully naked and honestly I stared in his eyes so hard I must have come across like a serial killer. He had a pair of flip flops on and nothing else. music is increasingly not important it was a powerful moment. Now it’s a song of defiance.
People say: “Can I take a quick photo?” I mean, can you? Somebody said to me the other night in Manchester if they could get a picture and then they said: “Can I get a proper one now, can you smile?” I was like “f*** off ”.
I remember signing an autograph outside Selfridges and the girl said to me: “What does that say?”
“I said, it says Noel Gallagher,” and she said: “I can’t read it, no one will be able to read it.”
I said: “You have just watched me do it.” So I took it back off her.
I was at the Q Awards the other day getting yet another Lifetime Achievement.
I was thinking, “They just keep rewording this every time I am in town.” Outstanding achievement is no different to lifetime achievement. I have only been asked that about 14,000 f***ing times, the answer is always the same: I have room for one more and my favourite one is red.
They don’t go crazy, they are there to see a concert performance. We were there one night and it was snowing and I thought there is no way anyone would come but they did.
There were three girls in the front row and it became apparent one had dragged the other two along, one girl was on her phone and whatever f***ing song I was playing when I looked at her she yawned. That is not the first time I have been asked and when I retire from music I’ll put myself out to stud and see how it goes.