HOW DO I TELL MUM I’M STRUGGLING?

Dear Coleen

I’m a 16-year-old girl and I’m really struggling with friendships at school. I haven’t talked to anyone about it, probably because I feel embarrassed about my feelings.

Also, my mum has a lot on her plate with work and my grandmother, who’s ill.

I feel really nervous starting conversations with friends and get paranoid about what they’re thinking and whether they’re talking about me.

I work hard at school but sometimes it gets overwhelming.

How can I bring this up with my mum? I don’t want to give her more problems.

Coleen says

OK, I’m a mum and I can tell you honestly that no matter what was going on in my life, I’d want my kids to be able to confide in me. And I’m sure your mum feels exactly the same.

Perhaps she hasn’t spotted you’re struggling because she has a lot on, but that doesn’t mean she won’t want to hear about it and help.

We all find it hard to start difficult conversations, so why not write your mum a letter?

In the letter, write down exactly how you feel, explain that it’s affecting how you feel about school and that you’d like to talk about it. Then leave the letter somewhere she’ll find it. I’m sure she’ll come to you and start the conversation.

You sound stressed and anxious about your schoolwork, so maybe thinking of some strategies to manage your workload better and having downtime would really help to take the pressure off.

Perhaps this is something your mum could help discuss with your teachers. Good luck.