HOW DO I ASK GUY AT WORK FOR A DATE?

Dear Coleen

I like a guy at work and I’d love to go on a date with him. Whenever we chat we get on so well and have lots of things in common.

I think he likes me, too, but neither of us has taken things further and I’m not really sure why. I suppose I’ve been waiting for him to make a move and maybe he’s not sure if I like him in that way.

To complicate things, he’s very chummy with another woman at work who’s stunningly attractive and they hang out together at lunchtimes.

I feel a bit intimidated by her to be honest, and I can’t work out if they’re sleeping together or if they’re just mates.

Any ideas? I don’t want to make a total fool of myself.

Coleen says

Firstly, don’t be intimated by this other woman, but if you really like this man at work, then be more upfront about it. You seem to be dancing around each other at the moment, so one of you has to take the initiative. Why not say, “We should grab a coffee or lunch one day” and see what he says?

If he turns you down, at least you know where you stand and can move on. I think that’s better than torturing yourself for not giving it a go and wondering “what if?”.

I think people often get hung up on making the move, but you don’t have to do anything dramatic or express your undying love for someone. Just asking someone if they fancy coffee is enough to set the wheels in motion and you’ll soon find out if there’s anything worth pursuing.