DON’T TRUST FLIRTY GIRLFRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for about a year now. We’re both in our late-40s and divorced with teenage children. I think I’m in love with her, we have a good time with each other and our kids get on great, but it really bothers me that she’s very flirty with other men.

Whenever we’re out in a group, she gravitates towards the men and is very touchy-feely. I know her marriage broke up because she cheated several times on her husband, and I can’t help thinking that she could do the same thing to me. Maybe she already has?

I have tried to speak to her about how I feel, but she just dismisses it and says I have no reason to be jealous. But after coming out of a horrible marriage, I don’t really want a relationship where I’m worried all the time about whether my partner is committed to me or not.

Coleen says

I understand you feeling vulnerable after being divorced, but just because your new partner cheated in her marriage, that doesn’t mean she’ll do the same to you. She was clearly unhappy in that relationship but, instead of either leaving or working things through with her husband, she had affairs.

However, trust is crucial for the success of any relationship and if you’re struggling with that, then perhaps this relationship isn’t right for you long term.

Maybe you need to spend some more time on your own or give yourself the chance to meet a different kind of person who doesn’t trigger those insecurities in you.

Try talking to your partner again, and don’t let her dismiss you. Maybe you just need some reassurance but, equally, the relationship will never work if you keep bringing up her past infidelities.