I’M CONFUSED ABOUT CROSSDRESS HABIT

Dear Coleen

I could really use your help, as I feel trapped in a cycle I can’t get out of. I’m a man who keeps buying women’s clothes and wearing them, then I get rid of them straight afterwards. I never hold on to them to wear again.

I’m feeling really bad about my life and also confused. Am I a sick person? I really hope you can throw some light on why I keep doing this and help me to feel better.

Coleen says

I think you’re trapped in this cycle because you feel guilt and believe on some level that what you’re doing is wrong and perverted, and it’s not. Ultimately, this is something that brings you comfort and/or pleasure, and there’s nothing wrong in that.

You’re not harming yourself or anyone else. So I think you should stop beating yourself up about it.

Cross-dressing really is so much more common than you might think – I get many letters on this subject from cross-dressers and their partners, and I’ve also met lots of guys who do it both openly and in private. Some have been in the army and others have been married for 30 years. It’s an incredibly diverse community.

So I think it would really help if you connected with other people who feel the same. That way you won’t feel so isolated or as if what you’re doing is unusual and unacceptable.

The Beaumont Society is a good place to start (beaumontsociety. org.uk). It offers support to the transgender community – from occasional cross-dressers to post-surgery transsexuals.