RUSHED MARRIAGE ISN’T WORKING

Dear Coleen

My husband and I got married about five weeks ago after only three weeks of knowing each other.

We have had rather a rough time, as he has a very hot temper and everything I say seems to rub him up the wrong way. I’m the type who never quarrels, and I just try to keep calm while he is flaring up.

Recently, we had a misunderstanding and he’s taking “time out” on me until the New Year, saying I don’t understand him. He is 55 and originally from Denmark and I’m 31 and originally from Uganda.

He further blocked me on phone and social media, which

I’m very hurt by. I don’t know what to do – should I be worried?

Coleen says

And you’re surprised because? Look, I think it’s clear the problem is you’ve rushed 100 miles an hour into marriage and you don’t even know each other.

You’re finding all that out about each other now when you’re already married. It was a panic buy and the reality is sinking in for you both.

I’d like to know why you felt the need to get married within three weeks – maybe at 31 you’re keen to settle down and start a family and maybe at 55 he feels he’s in last chance saloon territory.

I think you can either work at it and learn about each other as you go along, or just accept you rushed into it, it’s not right and move on.

But I’d give it some proper thought to avoid making another rash decision you might regret. You are married, so he has to start communicating with you so you can decide what you want to do about it – end it or have a plan to move forwards.

The letter from the girl who couldn’t understand why her sister was so upset about her dog dying is typical of someone who’s never had animals (Dear Coleen, Dec 13). If she had, she would completely understand the connection and the love between a dog and its owner. But at the very least, she ought to have empathy, even if she doesn’t get it. Alice, via email