I’M SCARED TO TELL PARENTS I MIGHT BE GAY

Dear Coleen

I think I might be a lesbian, although I’m not sure yet. I need to know and, if it turns out that I am gay, how on earth will I tell my homophobic parents?

I have very strong feelings for a girl I know, but I also like a guy. I can’t tell if I’m feeling like this because I’m desperate or if I genuinely like both of them. Please help – I don’t know what to do next.

Coleen says

I think you’re a bit confused because you’re in the process of finding out who you are as a person and who you’re attracted to. So don’t panic – it’s OK to take time to explore your sexuality and work out what turns you on.

You might be a lesbian or you might be bisexual.

I don’t think you have to “do” anything – you’ll find out whether you are gay through your relationships with people. And you don’t have to tell your parents anything until you are ready.

I don’t know what you’re basing your parents’ homophobia on, but it might help to get in touch with FFLAG, an organisation that supports parents and their lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans daughters and sons (fflag.org.uk).

There are some really useful downloads on the site, including How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Gay/ Lesbian/bisexual? And there’s a Guide For Family And Friends too.