I’M SCARED TO ADMIT I’M GAY AFTER LYING

Dear Coleen

I’m a gay guy in my late 20s and I’ve spent years denying my sexuality to the point of lying to my family and telling them I’m straight.

A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to come clean, as my parents asked me directly if I was gay and said they were OK with it and that I shouldn’t feel I have to hide anything from them.

I don’t know why, but I laughed and said they were barking up the wrong tree and I’ve kept up the pretence ever since.

I now feel ready to come out of the closet, but how can I tell them when I’ve lied in the past? I’m still worried about admitting it. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

It sounds to me as if your family knows you’re gay and they wanted to make it easier for you to come out to them. So, I don’t think you’ll get a shocked or negative reaction. They will probably be relieved and happy for you.

I have lots of gay friends, so I understand that coming out is a hard thing to do, even if you have good relationships with your family. You need to feel ready.

But I don’t think you need to do a big announcement – tell your parents first and let them mention it to other family members if that’s easier for you.

Some of my gay friends kept their sexuality a secret for many years, which was very painful for them, so if you feel the time is right, then go for it and enjoy the freedom it’ll bring. Good luck.