I’M 68 AND NERVOUS ABOUT SEX

Dear Coleen

I’m 68 and two years ago my second husband died after a long illness. I have a lovely circle of friends and lots of hobbies so I always assumed

I’d spend the rest of my life alone which I was OK about.

However, a few months ago I went to a school reunion lunch and met an old boyfriend from my teenage years. We got along as well as ever and we’ve started going to the cinema and going for walks and pub lunches.

We’ve kissed and it’s wonderful having somebody in my life again.

He wants to go away for a weekend soon and while I do want to sleep with him I’m terrified at the thought of undressing in front of somebody new. I married my second husband when I was 38 and looked very different to how I do now!

He’s so patient and kind but I feel too embarrassed to speak to him about this. What do you think?

Coleen says

How lovely that you have somebody in your life again after the sad loss of your second husband.

No matter how old you are, the first time with a new partner is often terrifying.

But just remember that he’ll be nervous too, because I imagine he doesn’t look like a 38-year-old either!

Just enjoy spending time together and remember that he’s not going to expect you to look anything other than your age. He sounds wonderful and kind, so just go for it.

Don’t overthink it, though. When it comes to it you’ll just know it’s right. And if you’re really not sure, just wait a while. I’m sure he won’t mind.