WORRIED MY BROTHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC

Dear Coleen

My brother is 52 and has always led a chaotic life. He’s been married three times and has two teenage daughters whom he hardly sees.

He’s always been a drinker and two years ago our dad died, and this seemed to cause him to start drinking more than ever.

I’m really worried he has a problem with alcohol but whenever me or my mum try to tell him, he gets cross and won’t speak to us for a few days, or even weeks.

My mum is in her 80s and still grieving for my dad so I don’t want to burden her with this.

But I really want to help my brother in some way. What can I do?

Coleen says

It’s so hard when it comes to drinking and alcoholism because lots of people don’t know they have a drink problem.

People have this view of alcoholics stumbling around and being absolutely trashed. But I know alcoholics who are very high functioning. So they come in all shapes and sizes, and who is to say your brother is one?

However, if he drinks a lot and his life is chaotic, he doesn’t see his children and he’s started drinking more heavily since your dad died, the signs don’t look good.

He’s lucky he’s got you as a sister, though, so let’s start with ways you can help him without burdening your mum. You could pick up leaflets from your doctor’s and take them to your brother’s.

You don’t have to accuse him of being an alcoholic, just suggest he looks at them. Say you’re worried about him and that you’re here to help, without being confrontational.

He’s only 52, which is two years younger than me, and he has so much life left to live.

It sounds like he could also be depressed, so see if he would be willing to go and see his doctor for some counselling. Good luck.