MY SON HAS BEEN SHOPLIFTING

Dear Coleen

I have two boys aged nine and seven and my eldest has always been a lot more difficult. He’s not as bright as his younger brother, and he’s always getting in trouble.

About a month ago we went to the shops and when he came home he had a new pot of slime in his room that he didn’t have before. I asked him if he’d taken it from the shop and he said no, so I put it to the back of my mind. But last week I found him stealing sweets from our local shop.

His younger brother saw him do it and told me, and when I got home I found them in his coat pocket. He denied it but after I yelled at him he admitted that he took them, and that it’s not the first time. I’m devastated.

My mum thinks he might be doing it for attention.

Coleen says

I absolutely think he’s doing it for attention. It sounds like his nose has been put out of joint by his younger, smarter sibling who is as good as gold.

It was the other way round for me – my younger one was harder work compared to his older brother. And I was guilty of saying to him, “Why can’t you be good like your brother?”

It’s not a great thing to compare your kids to their siblings or friends. But when you’re tired and it’s happening a lot, we all do it. But then the kid gets resentful and plays up.

And the only way they can get your attention is by being naughty, hence the stealing sweets from shops. But he needs to know there are consequences so you need to tell him off, ground him and take away his favourite thing for a while.

But maybe you also need to spend some more one-on-one time with him, without his angel sibling around.

Every mum has a tricky child but show him lots of love, while making sure he knows there are repercussions to his actions too.