HE’S FLIPPED OVER HAVING 4TH CHILD

Dear Coleen

We have two daughters and a son all under nine. My husband never wanted a third child, but three years ago I got pregnant unexpectedly and we had our son. My husband joked that was it and he was getting the snip, but he never did. Now I’m pregnant again and he’s stressing out about it.

He says we can’t afford it and that he’s worried about bills and costs, like getting a new car. I keep telling him not to worry, and we’ll get by. But he’s freaking out and being quite cold towards me – and it’s really taking its toll. I feel so bad, plus I’m running around after three young children.

How can I reassure him that everything will be OK

Coleen says

For a start, you need to stop taking all the blame for getting pregnant. There’s an old saying that really annoys me: ‘She got herself pregnant’. Er, no she didn’t.

It takes two people and I bet he wasn’t stressed or annoyed with you when he was getting you pregnant, was he?

So stop feeling bad. I get sackloads of letters from women who take more than their fair share of responsibility for getting pregnant. If he was that bothered about not having a third baby, let alone a fourth, why didn’t he get the snip? Why didn’t he make sure he used a condom when you had sex? He can’t have his cake and then moan about the consequences.

So sit him down and explain it’s not only your fault you’re pregnant and that he needs to get over himself. Plenty of people have four children and, while it may be stressful and money may be tight, you’ll all just have to make it work.