HE’S NOT THE MAN I MARRIED

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for six years, but over the past 18 months, it seems my husband has had a personality transplant. He suddenly wants to quit his job and become more like Donald Trump of all people, and work in a job that involves networking.

What I really don’t like is that he’s been alienating family and friends with constant talk of politics and sharing very dubious views, and he’s also got this thing about people being obese.

He even uploaded photos of fat people in hospital beds to Facebook as ”fat-shaming”, which I found very offensive. This is new behaviour as he was always a pretty normal, upbeat guy.

I suspect he’s being influenced by a group of men he’s met at the pub (a mixture of ages). It’s getting to the point where I want to leave him, but we have a five-year-old daughter. Plus, my parents taught me that marriage is about the good times as well as the bad times. What should I do?

Coleen says

Well, he doesn’t sound like a good role model for your daughter, who will be picking all of this up, so that’s something you have to consider when weighing up whether you should leave. In terms of these friends at the pub, I think you should ask him who’s more important – them or you, because you don’t like the way he’s changed since he’s been hanging out with them.

Be honest with him that he’s no longer the man you fell in love with and married, and you don’t find his behaviour attractive in the least.

If he hasn’t always been this way, then he could be going through some kind of personal crisis that’s drawn him towards this group of obnoxious people.

However, you can’t stay married to someone because you think it’s what you should do, or because your mum thinks it’s right. Take your time and make up your own mind.