Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
Exclusive: Loose Woman Andrea.. ‘my breakdown’
She is the loose-lipped Loose Woman who wears her heart on her sleeve and isn’t afraid to say exactly what she thinks.
But for the past year TV favourite Andrea Mclean has been harbouring a secret heartache about a painful breakdown she suffered last autumn.
The 50-year-old returned to the hit ITV chat show earlier this month and let slip that the collapse in 2019 had left her “in a really dark place”.
Now, speaking about it at length for the first time, Andrea reveals how a painful “personal” experience left her broken and forced her to “dim my lights”.
Andrea has carried the heartbreak for most of her adult life and says she never wants another woman to go through what she has. She explains: “I didn’t mean to talk it about on air. I had been off air for six weeks and then when I went back on it slipped out.
“I’m not ashamed of it and I’ve learnt so much. I think people were surprised as they think ‘she doesn’t look like the type of person who has a breakdown’.
“But what does a person look like? It is someone who is a people-pleaser, someone who tries too hard to do everything and can’t say ‘no’ and holds everything in. That’s exactly what I am and that is why it happened.”
Speaking about the incident – which she is still coming to terms with – she says it was “personal” not professional.
“I’ve had to make myself small through a lot of my life and dim my lights,” she explains. “I don’t want to do that any more. There have been experiences in my life of having to stay small.
“I was always made to feel I could do anything I wanted but always to a level.
“As long as everyone was happy with whatever you are doing, then you can do whatever you want.
“I’m a people-pleaser, and now I think: ‘Why am I accepting that?’
“It’s been bred into us from a young age, good girls stay quiet.
“Of course try hard at school but don’t be too shiny, don’t be too loud, don’t take up too much space. I think we need to stop apologising for who we are.”
Andrea says she doesn’t want to “stay small” any more.
She adds: “I want to help women to feel strong enough to stand up for themselves.
“Now I want to encourage women to do whatever they want and who cares if everyone else is happy with it or not.”
The breakdown and realisation of her trauma led to counselling sessions which husband Nick Feeney also attended, in solidarity with her.
At the time, people believed they were having marriage problems but it was actually Nick’s support that helped her overcome the ghosts of her past.
Andrea married businessman Nick in November 2017, after they got engaged in Paris that summer.
She says: “I had never had therapy before last year. Now I realise everyone should have it. It puts things into their proper place. It helps you to figure out why you are who you are and why you feel the way you feel.
“Then you feel that you have dealt with things, it doesn’t have to be traumatic. I think everyone should have therapy. We are a constantly evolving work in progress.
“You don’t pop out fully formed. You are constantly learning. Nick has been brilliant. It was really important for him to be supportive, so he came along so that we could work together.
“Even though it’s just one of you going through it, you are both dealing with it.”
In response to what happened, Andrea launched female-empowerment website This Girl Is On Fire and hopes to motivate 100 million women around the world. She explained: “When I first said it I was embarrassed and thought it was a ridiculous goal. But it’s not. It’s to empower every girl and woman to have the power to choose.
“I’m braver now than I have ever been, I would really like to save women the years that I’ve wasted being too scared to speak up in case I’ve made someone cross or made someone feel uncomfortable. I feel like I knew my place.
“I want women to shine at whatever level they want to. Not everybody wants to become a trailblazing CEO because I
I’ve had to make myself small for a lot of my life.. I don’t want to do that any more
ANDREA MCLEAN AFTER SUFFERING FROM A BREAKDOWN
think actually that is kind of bullsh** and not everybody wants that.
“What I want women to feel is the best they possibly can in whatever way – whether that is a stay-at-home mum or a single woman who wants to feel good about themselves.
“Sometimes you feel a failure if you aren’t winning all the time, that’s not what this website is about.” Glasgowborn Andrea grew up in Trinidad, where her dad was an engineer for a sugar company.
When they returned to live in the UK, she and younger sister Linda stood out because of their deep tans and Caribbean accents and Andrea was targeted by school bullies. She launched her career as a freelance travel writer in 1993.
Four years later she joined GMTV as a weather presenter before going on to co-host the show.
In 2008 she joined the Loose Women, alongside Kate Thornton and later Carol Vorderman. She has always been a staple on the ITV show, and her book Confessions Of A Menopausal Woman was a huge hit. But her love life hasn’t been as smooth sailing.
As a teenager she embarked on a 17-year relationship with BBC producer Nick Green.
The couple married in Kenya in 2000 and had a son a year later. In 2004, it came to light that Andrea had had an affair with fellow Our House host Steve Toms.
She says of cheating on Green: “I did a terrible thing... I betrayed him.”
After divorcing Green, Mclean moved in with Toms, and in 2006 had a daughter with him.
The couple married in August 2009, during Loose Women’s summer break.
Then in January 2012, Mclean announced that she had separated from Toms, having left their marital home the previous month with their children to move back in with her parents. At the time, she said: “I’m still in shock... I simply can’t believe I’m in this position again.”
But Andrea would find love again and in January 2016, she announced that she was living with her partner of two years, Nick Feeney, a businessman she had met on a blind date.
They married a year later, and Nick has supported Andrea as she overcomes her trauma. She adds: “Nick is amazing, I’m incredibly lucky.”
Since returning to Loose Women, she admits the vibe at the “empty” studios has been “unsettling”, saying: “It’s just not what it was. It will take a long time to get used to.”
Marketplace is live now on Andrea’s website thisgirlisonfire.com featuring products and services from femalerun organisations, designed to help women live, learn and thrive.