Virus diary: Week 11

This week we’re a bit obsessed by Dominic Cummings and the story with more twists and turns than a Durham B road.

Boris Johnson’s adviser broke lockdown by driving 260 miles – while, or maybe not, ill with coronavirus – to be near his parents’ home in the north-east.

So far so cheeky, considering his role in implementing the restrictions in the first place. What takes us to the fair, though, is Cummings’ explanation for later taking his wife and child to beauty spot Barnard Castle – to test if his eyes were working.

It’s not so much the story – clearly horses**t like so much of the scandal – rather that he was actually said it out loud in front of everyone. With a straight face.

And if he spouts such casual bunkum about something like this what else might he be prepared to lie about?

Speaking of driving and having a laugh, a series of drive-in concerts has been announced by Irish warbler Gavin James who will perform at presumably big venues across Ireland this summer.

There are many positives to take from this planned return of music but we can’t help but think of one major drawback – you’d have to sit through a Gavin James concert. I suppose if it all got too dull you could honk your horn to liven things up or put your own tunes on the car stereo as loud as is appropriate. And then drive the hell away before angry fans rip you a new exhaust pipe.

Joking aside, we’re sure it’d be a decent night out. And at least, with the new interpretation of the rules, we’d be able claim we were making a “reasonable” journey driving across Ireland to see him. Nah, not even Dom would try that one on...