Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
ONE YEAR ON:
AS football’s most feared hardman, Vinnie Jones knew his short fuse and violent temper meant he was always a whisker away from self-destruction.
And he always credited his love for his wife, Tanya, for keeping him – just about – on the straight and narrow.
So when Tanya tragically passed away, a year ago on Monday, many worried desolate Vinnie would lose control, and turn back to the alcoholism and anger that had blighted his life for years.
His partner of 27 years, with whom he has a son and stepdaughter, died aged 53 after a six-year battle with skin cancer.
Vinnie refused to let heartbreak knock him off course, and has instead become more determined than ever to make Tanya proud of him – and to show others they don’t have to let grief destroy them.
Speaking to the Mirror just days before he has to mark the tragic anniversary, he says: “In the past my emotions would boil over and I would hit the alcohol.
“So after I lost my wife I think a lot of people thought I would go back to the drink, but I haven’t.
“In fact I’m even more positive about staying off alcohol because drink makes grief a lot heavier and more dramatic.”
In April the footballer-turned-actor, 55, celebrated his seven-year “dry anniversary”, posting on Twitter a poignant photo with Tanya, for whom he finally gave up alcohol after decades of drink-fuelled misdemeanours.
He adds: “I’m in my eighth year dry, and I think that’s one of the biggest things that’s helped me through this.
“It’s so easy to try to look for something to ease the pain, but in reality it makes it worse, so I’ve stayed off it. My family are very proud that I never just jumped back and used it as an excuse.”
He adds: “You’ve also got to realise your loved one would want you to carry on being successful. It would hurt them even more, it would make them more sad, if you curled up in bed all day.
“I’ve become ultra active. That gets me through the day and gives me purpose.”
Not that the passing of time is making the grief any less hard for Vinnie, who says he misses Tanya more with each day.
He speaks with her every day and believes she is still with him as his “guiding hand”, just like when they were enjoying life together.
“I still cry every day,” he says. “I’ve only just lost her.
It’s the celebration of her life on Monday, and to be honest I hope I never stop crying. I’m not rolling around on the floor bawling my eyes out but what’s happened has brought out emotions in me that maybe I didn’t think I had. “I keep them personal, I try not to do it in front of people. Grief is strange, emotions are hard to deal with sometimes. It’s very heavy stuff sometimes. “Most days I get up in the morning, I make my bed every day, I have a little chat with my wife and I get on with the day. It gives me a good start. “Sometimes during the day something strange will trigger it. It’ll be a jolt, and my eyes will water up.
“She’s with me all the time, I know she is. I feel I’ve got a guiding hand on my shoulder. That’s how I’ll continue to live my life.”
Vinnie, who after a successful – albeit ill-famed – career in football became a Hollywood star playing hardman roles, is involved in a