Mystery book club choice had me losing the plot

THIS village book club business can be confusing. My neighbour Stephen in Lothersdale chose Ask Me Anything for this month’s read.

Off I go to Abebooks, the best website for second-hand stuff. A large-format hardback came through the post with hundreds of pages boasting “every fact you ever wanted to know”. And a great deal more you don’t wish to know.

Like, “Can a car run on chocolate?”, and, “Do we need gravity?”. Not to mention,

“How many trees make a forest?”. The answer is banal, not worth cutting them down to make the paper for a book.

I was baffled by this choice, and Mrs R wondered if I’d got it right. This is essentially a children’s book, though many adults might find it fascinating. Maybe I’d got the title wrong? Was it Up For Anything (more Stephen’s style – well, at certain times in his life)?

No, title right. Author wrong. The real book choice is a novel, not a kids’ compendium of information. Mrs R laughed so much she farted.

The real Ask Me Anything is billed as “the quirky love story of the year”. It better be, said I, at 10 quid a throw. And so it proved. This isn’t the first time I’ve made the same mistake. Years ago, my choice was The Autobiography of a Super-tramp, by Welsh poet WH Davies, first published in 1908.

I ordered it, only to get 10 copies of a CD by 1970’s rock band Supertramp. All very interesting, but nothing to do with the writer’s hobo travels in America, when he lost a leg hopping freight trains.

Much hilarity then, and probably more at our Zoom meeting next week. I don’t mind. Lockdown laughter is at a premium.