UPSET SEEING EX’S PHOTO WITH NEW GUY

Dear Coleen

I split up with my ex-girlfriend about three years ago. After a messy split, I finally got past it and moved on. I’m now with a woman who I love very much, we have an amazing life together and plan to get married.

The thing is, a few days ago I was scrolling through Facebook and randomly saw, in the “people you may know” section, my ex’s page. It appears she is now with someone else, too.

Now I haven’t thought about her at all for the past two years, but seeing that picture has really got to me. I actually feel a bit upset by finding this out.

I honestly don’t know why because I know for sure I’d never want to get back together with her, as she cheated and that’s what ended our relationship. I don’t know what to do. Should I be honest with my fiancee about it or keep it to myself and let these feelings go away?

Coleen says

Keep it to yourself. I think this is a perfectly natural reaction – this photo has triggered some sadness around what happened and what might have been. It sounds like you were very hurt at the time and this has probably just given those old wounds a painful prod.

And maybe your ego is a little damaged, too – we all have egos, so maybe there’s also a bit of: “Why did she choose this guy over me?”, even though, as you say, you’d never want to get back together with her.

But I really don’t think it’s necessary to throw this into the middle of your relationship. Sometimes ignorance is bliss and I don’t see the point in worrying your fiancee. You could always talk to a trusted mate about how you feel instead.

I don’t know if you can stop her popping up on your social media – I’m guessing you have friends in common – but look into it, so she’s not in your orbit.