Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
I was thousands of miles from home when Dad died
The Olympic boxer tells Alex Lloyd how he dealt with the devastating grief of losing his father
His body had been battered for 12 gruelling rounds, but boxer Luke Campbell was feeling a pain far worse than the physical one. Few people watching his w world title fight against Jorge Linares i in September 2017 knew the O Olympian was secretly grieving for his d dad Bernard, who lost his life to c cancer two weeks earlier.
He kept the news private for fear of showing a chink in his armour.
“I felt it was the decision I needed to make, as a fighter,” says Luke, who was narrowly defeated on points.
“I didn’t want to give my opponent an extra advantage. It would be like going into battle without a sword.
“My dad told me I would be world champion one day. I wanted to do it for him. But I was thousands of miles from home and my family when he died. I tried to block it out but I was having panic attacks.
“I don’t regret it, but it could have been handled differently.”
Feeling under pressure to grit your teeth and keep going despite the death of a loved one is something Luke, 33, knows isn’t confined to the macho world of boxing.
Three years on, he is opening up about his loss in a bid to help others manage their feelings in a healthier way, becoming the first men’s grief ambassador for The Good Grief Trust. It has seen a surge in people seeking support as lockdown restrictions make mourning more painful.
Dad-of-three Luke says: “People assume grieving is something you have to get through on your own.
“But there is help out there and it can stop you going down the wrong path of hitting alcohol and drugs, or suffering depression.
“Men are particularly bad for thinking they should be able to cope. I want them to know that sharing your feelings can be a relief.”
Luke’s fighting spirit was a quality shared by his dad, a miner who worked 12-hour shifts until a back injury left him in daily pain.
“He had seven discs removed from his spine and it meant he couldn’t do much with us as kids, but he took it on the chin. He was stubborn, like me.”
His father’s pain meant he never sat ringside for his son’s bouts. But he was first to phone for the result – and had an unwavering belief in his boy.
“From day one, he told me, ‘Come out like a lion and you’ll be Olympic and world champion’.”
His faith paid off when Luke won bantamweight gold at London 2012, then turned pro, received an MBE and reached the Dancing on Ice final.
But the party stopped when Bernard was diagnosed with lung cancer in April 2014 and given nine months to live.
Luke says: “Dad went into hospital with pneumonia and that’s when they found it. I tried to keep fighting but had to take time off.
“I was going to the gym and sparring while crying into my gloves. I wanted them to hit me and hurt me, to feel the pain I had inside on the outside.”
But his father persuaded him to keep going, saying: “You can do nowt sat by my bed. I’m not going anywhere.”
And Bernard Campbell fought on for another three and a half years. “The hospital staff called him Titanium Man,” says Luke. “He was on his deathbed three times and bounced back. Each time I said my goodbyes.”
When the boxer flew to America to train before his world title fight, he expected to see Bernard on his return. His father’s death in Hull, aged 58, came as a shock despite his illness.
“I thought I was prepared but you can never be ready for losing a parent. I was alone in America, my y family y had all been at his bedside.” de.”
Confused and determined ermined to fulfil the second part of his father’s prophecy, Luke refused ed to cancel the fight, operating on “autopilot”.
He says: “Dad always ays said, ‘I’m not going anywhere here until you win a world d title’. It was two weeks before that fight and felt so unfair.”
In the end, Luke’s sacrifice was in vain and he failed ailed to win, and flew home in dread.
He says: “I didn’t want to go back. I’d blocked d it out in my mind. I did da a speech at the funeral, l, but it took a while to get through hrough it. It was a hellish week.” ek.”
A devoted family man, who married teen sweetheart Lynsey at t
Disneyland in 2015,
Luke is far from a hardman at home. Yet as the weeks following his dad’s death passed, he felt anger raging. He says: “It was difficult to put on a brave face for the kids. I’m not one of those people who can pretend.
“My emotions were off the scale but I didn’t realise this was grief. I didn’t know the process of it coming back to you and burning you up months later. I just thought I was a horrible person.” It was the love and patience of his wife and sons Leo, 10, and Lincoln, seven, tha that allowed him to find peace amid am the pain.
The co couple also welcomed a third son son, Levi, in September. He says: “It took me a very long time to realise what I’d been going through.
““People say grief is a pr process so I assumed I had to go through it on my own. ““Training helped – it took my min mind off everything. Sport is a brilliant tool for managing mental health.”
Luke continues to compete at the top of his sport, and while Bernard Bernard’s absence is felt before and afte after a fight, Luke still talks to his d dad regularly.
“I go t to the cemetery and talk to him. I find it helpful,” he says. “You ne need to find your own ways but yo you don’t have to just deal with it alone. Reach out.”
Grie Grief Awareness Week runs from December 2. Get support at thegoodgrieftrust.org t
I was sparring while crying into my gloves. I wanted them to hurt me
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