Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
Yours, Siobhan Let’s do this together
Well that’s the plans for Dry January cancelled with immediate effect.
The Dark Lord is delighted to be going into Lockdown 3.0 like it’s one of her geek games. I haven’t seen her this happy since Minecraft version 1.6 was released.
“This is literally the best time of my life,” she bounced around the house yesterday morning, listing all the great things about lockdown.
“One. I get to spend all day and all evening at a computer screen,” she beamed.
“Two, I can roll out of bed after 8am, walk to my desk and not bother showering.”
“Er hang on, you do have to share a house with me too, you know,” I interrupted. “And there will be penalties for soap-dodging. And also, you don’t want to look greasy on camera.”
“Aha! That’s number three,” she crowed. “We’re e not allowed to use a webcam, and I’m on mute unless I have to speak.
“And four, there’s no sports or running around a field in the freezing cold.”
“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong,” I interrupted again, having come up with a cunning plan to take our state-sanctioned exercise.
I’ve barely had a chance to lose the lockdown lard from the last two enforced stay at home orders, and I really don’t want to pile on more pounds this month when all we have to look forward to is eating.
So I told Jesse: “We’re going to do an extra walk k for an hour every day together with the dog when you’ve finished school at 3.30pm. And starting Monday morning, Joe Wicks is back with his online e PE classes.”
“Oh no!” she cried, looking upset.
“Yes I know – poor Joe Wicks, huh? He’s got to pretend he’s really that jolly again for goodness knows how long.”
“No, I meant me. Do I really have to?” she whined.
“Yes you do,” I replied firmly. “You’re already the first generation who don’t need to use their legs.
“If this carries on, you’ll evolve to be limbless and hairless with just a proboscis for turning on a computer. Although for you this might be an improvement,” I chuckled at my own joke.
“Rude,” she said shortly, having gone back to her usual gloomy self.
“Oh and by the way, there is another downside,” I warned. “Stocks of Marmite are getting precariously low again in the shops as no one’s drinking beer in the pubs.”
She thought seriously about it for a minute and said: “It’s a risk I’m willing to take not to have any homework for the next two months.”
How’s Lockdown 3.0 treating you so far?
Tell me what you plan to do as it’s a bit chilly for gardening and let’s face it, you cleaned the kitchen cupboards in the first lockdown!
Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.
Now we all have a LOT more time for craft and jigsaw puzzles, Shirley Bush has found a clever way to combine both hobbies.
Shirley, 83, of Sleaford, Lincs, says: “It was a pleasant surprise to read your page last month and see Denis Stapleton’s watercolour of Castle Combe in the Cotswolds looking back at me.
“It brought back happy memories of when we visited this place and had our photo taken there.”
And in an ‘art imitating life’ kind of way, jigsaw fan Shirley decided to create her own hanging artwork of her favourite picture postcard village.
She says: “Last Christmas I was given a 1,000 piece jigsaw of the place. It was quite difficult to do and took me ages. Having done it, I left it on the table for weeks because it was so lovely and I really did not want to break it up.
“So I decided I’d hang it on the wall. I gave it two coats of jigsaw glue, framed it and now it takes pride of p place in my house.”
If you’d like you your knitting, embroidery or any craft skill showcased here, get in touch at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk.