MY HEALTH ISSUES SCARE WOMEN OFF

Dear Coleen

Where do I start? I’m a 55-year-old single male seeking a loving relationship, but every woman I chat to runs a mile due to my health issues – I’m on dialysis and have heart problems.

I can’t hide these conditions – they’re part of who I am now and I have to manage them.

All I want is to grow old loving someone and being loved back.

Sometimes I cry when I’m alone at night, as I feel I’d just be a burden to someone instead of a proper partner.

Coleen says

First of all, good on you for putting yourself out there and having the faith that you will meet someone.

What I’d say is, don’t make your health issues the first thing you talk about with a date. Yes, they are part of who you are, but they’re not all of you and they certainly don’t define you.

There’s a lot more to you than your health problems and the right woman will see that.

You shouldn’t hide the state of your health, but you don’t have to make it the focus either. Remind yourself of the other important things in your life and talk about those – your interests and passions, your family, your work and so on.

Allow people to get to know all of you.

I’m the same age as you and I’m also back on the singles market again with two divorces behind me.

It’s daunting, but I’ve also found dating apps good fun and a nice distraction from everything else that’s going on in the world right now.

Maybe if you decide to try to have a bit of fun with it instead of taking it so seriously, that’s when you will connect with someone special and you might strike up some friendships, too.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.