Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)

Watch what you say Wednesday Take that and part Thursday

-

Piers Morgan has no time for covidiots in Lockdown 3.

And top of his shame former TOWIE “star” Lauren Goodger, who he’s brilliantl­y dubbed “a quarter-wit”.

First Lauren likened the killer disease to “a cold”. Then she bizarrely claimed she would refuse a jab, saying: “I’m more scared of the vaccine than I am the virus.”

Why y ou ask? Well , Lauren, who’s previously dated a convicted armed robber and a kidnapper, insists she’s always been very fussy with what she puts inside her body – despite pumping herself (and others) with unnecessar­y fillers.

There’s an argument that TV ’s li st is

Piers shouldn’t have given th e 34-year-old Z-lister the oxygen of publicity.

And if she turns s down the j ab, she might end up needing a different type.

It’s a new year, new start t for many.

J o d i e W h i t t a k e r ’s quit Doctor Who, Kim Kardashian’s ( a l l e g e d l y) q u i t hubby Kanye, and d Donald Trump’s (involl untarily) quit the pretence of having any dignity.

Af t e r three years, the first female Doctor is being regenerate­d from the atoms up.

But that’s simple p compared p with the regenerati­on ation of another role, normally occupied by white men with ith a penchant for young female male assistants: President of f the

United States.

Yes, The Don has finally ally conceded but not before pro-trumpers stormed the Capitol Building with Confederat­e f lags. And even after agreeing to vacate 1600 Pennsylvan­ia Avenue, Trump still believes he was robbed of the win (presumably he’s got alternativ­e votes to go with his alternativ­e facts).

But what next? Ah! Why don’t househunti­ng buddies West and Tr ump share t h e n o w- v a c a n t TARDIS? One calls himself President, one calls himself Yeezus, so both are used to being on another planet. Meanwhile we’d all love some Time And Relative Distance in and Space away from them.

No thank chew Friday

Actors are used to rejection. But this one’s got to hurt.

Animal rights campaigner Ricky Gervais this week revealed he wanted to be fed to the lions at London Zoo when he dies. But it turns out Ricky isn’t quite q to the lions’ taste. According Accord to London Zoo’s COO Kathryn England, Ricky “may be a bit gristly” for Simba and co. Funny... I always thought it was his close-to-the-bone humour that was hardest to swallow.

 ??  ??
 ??  ??
 ??  ?? MISS THE POINT Lauren
MISS THE POINT Lauren
 ??  ?? GET OUT The Don and Kanye
GET OUT The Don and Kanye
 ??  ?? ROAR DEAL Ricky
ROAR DEAL Ricky

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United Kingdom