Tiffany’s a Twit like all of the Trump children

IT’S fair to say, as far as the Trump family goes, that the apples never fall far from the trees.

Donald’s moronic sons Don Jr and Eric are routinely mocked for their stupidity, while his Barbielike daughter Ivanka acts tone deaf.

But not to be left out, the President’s youngest daughter Tiffany this week proved beyond all doubt she is a Trump through and through.

As the Capitol building was being looted by Trump’s fans she thought it would be a great moment to tweet a birthday message to Eric.

“Happy Birthday Eric Trump I love you and I’m so grateful to always have you by my side,” she wrote.

Tiffany was named after the famous diamond jewellery store. Clearly her rocks are in her head.

Passengers flying out of Georgia’s Savannah-hilton Head International Airport face a couple of grave concerns. At first glance, you might think it is just a repair on the runway, but looking more closely its the resting place of Richard and Catherine Dotson.

Both died in the 19th century and their graves are embedded in the Tarmac.

Residents in Queens, New York, have become prisoners in their own homes, too scared to leave their front doors after a spate of bloody attacks – from aggressive squirrels.

“You hear someone has been bitten by a squirrel, you’re like ‘Okay, you got a little nip, what’s the deal?’” wounded victim Micheline Frederick said.

“But this was... this was an MMA cage match. And I lost.” Nuts, huh?

Regular readers will know by now the craziest Americans all come from Florida. Take Kevin Murphy. Cops were called to a loud explosion in Crestview only to find a 2002 Chevrolet Silverado fully engulfed in flames.

When police quizzed Murphy he told them “he wanted something for the sheriff’s office to do and he wanted to give himself an early Christmas present, so he set his truck on fire”.

Needless to say, they found a glass pipe used to smoke methamphetamine in his pocket and a folded up dollar bill with traces of meth in his wallet.

Two people were arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence – in the same car, according to the California cops.

Officers pulled over Toyota Rav 4 in Yolo County with a man driving and a woman in the passenger seat. After an argument, the woman grabbed the steering wheel of the car and caused the Toyota to lose control. Both have now been charged.

P.S.

New year, new barman. My local pint puller Richard said his goal was to lose 10 pounds this year. After a heavy Christmas and New Year though he said this week: “Only 15 more to go.”