Let’s do this together

Let the lockdown end – for the poor worn-out dogs if no one else. I take Boris out for a walk at 8am, then The Dark Lord takes him for a spin at lunchtime, and then I drag him out again after work for an hour.

He’s exhausted but he’s also down to his perfect dating weight of 9kg, while I currently look like the Michelin man’s less attractive brother in a huge puffy coat and snow boots that make me waddle around in the icy mud.

So when one of many Valentine’s Day press releases arrive in my email inbox, this time from GPS pet tracker system Tractive, saying a dog can help me find love, you’ll forgive me for snorting very unattractively.

It read: “Dogs don’t just boost happiness levels. They also encourage us to face new challenges and interact with new people. Dog owners have a 60% higher chance to get to know their neighbours.”

It’s true, I often have chats with strangers over the dog poo bins, although that wouldn’t be my first choice for a date.

It continued: “Dogs also make us more attractive.

“Scientific studies say having a dog increased attractiveness among certain groups of men…”

“Yes, dog thieves mainly,” I harrumphed out loud.

I carried on reading: “Women are more likely to fancy animal lovers, and surveys show that people with dogs are seen as kind and loyal.”

Then finally: “Dogs motivate us to stay in shape. Daily walks means you’ll be getting off the sofa and out of the house – whether you like it or not! Plus, it’s more fun to get sporty with your dog on jogs or hikes.”

Well that’s probably true, although I have some way to go before I get down to my dating weight like Boris. I’d probably have to circumnavigate the globe to walk off the muffin top as all the exercise is making me ravenous and no muffin is safe when I get home.

That’s if Jesse hasn’t got to them first and then just left me the empty box or packet in the cupboard. Empty carton rage is a thing, folks.

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.