Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
..and he thought things could not get any worse
social-distanced dance with Phillip Schofield.
In case viewers hadn’t already exceeded their recommended daily intake of sugary sweetness, Holly then announced she was wearing – wait for it – the dress her mum had worn when she turned 4-0.
Talk about cuteness overload.
As someone who hit that same landmark not so long ago, I’ve just one bit of advice, though. Holly, go lightly on the daytime champagne. By lunchtime, you’ll be left feeling officially middle-aged.
And then you’ll need room for the hard stuff.
Toxic Thursday
If one phrase could sum up celebland this week, it would be this: What. Were. You. Thinking (You. Idiots)?
From should-have-known-better legends to naive newbies, famous faces have been getting themselves “cancelled”* quicker than Eldorado.
Bruce Springsteen had his Jeep ad pulled after being charged for drink
driving.
Star of Disney’s The Mandolorian Gina Carano was axed for comments about SLAYED the Holocaust. Whedon
and Gellar Justin Timberlake had to apologise for his treatment of Toxic singer ex Britney... in 2002. (Apparently it took 19 years and a new documentary, Framing Britney Spears for people to be outraged).
Priyanka Chopra (aka Mrs Nick Jonas) apologised for advertising skin- lightening creams.
Anthea Turner apologised for posting a cartoon mocking obese disabled people.
And Avengers’ director Joss Whedon
– once worshipped for his feminist storylines in cult hit Buffy The Vampire Slayer – descended further into his own personal Hellmouth when actress Charisma Carpenter accused him of bullying, pitting stars against each other, and sucking so much joy out of her life that he was the real “vampire”. He’s yet to
comment. But whether you’ve heard of him or not, you’ll appreciate this irony: Buffy actress Sarah Michelle Gellar is supporting Charisma, so it’s the Slayer herself twisting the stake.
Kate Winslet and Leo Dicaprio famously got steamy in the back of a car in Titanic. (Hey whatever floats your boat, guys).
And 23 years later, Kate’s back in a motor again for her latest project’s big love scene.
However this time she’s not the one in the driving seat. She’s in the boot. Yep. The down-to-earth, always-ahoot Oscar winner revealed she was shooting the upcoming Mare of Easttown, when she realised her onscreen daughter Angourie Rice, 20, was nervous about doing her first intimate scene.
So, Kate, 45, hopped in the boot, so she could stay with Angourie on set but be out of sight of the cameras.
Better clear space on the mantlepiece Kate, the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress is in the bag.
* Young person speak for going from hero to zero
AMERICA had a new star this week – the worst lawyer ever to take the floor of the Senate.
No one outside the legal community had ever heard of Bruce Castor before he stood up to kick off the defence of Donald Trump in his second impeachment trial. Now everyone knows his name after his bungling left the former president seething.
After the prosecution’s opening presentation Castor told senators: “I’ll be quite frank with you, we changed what we were going to do on account that we thought that the House manager’s presentation was well done.”
It descended badly from there. And to think old Donnie always bragged how he only hired the best.
Blakelee Sands is wishing she was someone else right now. The 18-year-old called police when a bar in Edmond, Olkahoma, seized her fake ID card. Officers retrieved the Texas ID in the name of Mckamie Queen. Under-age drinker Sands insisted it was authentic and that she indeed was Mckamie. A quick check, however, showed the ID number had been issued to Texan Robert Sanchez. Sands said she thought her ruse would not be detected. Police arrested her for presenting a fake ID.
Pandemic restrictions have made 40% of Americans feel like born-again virgins, a survey claims.
With strict curbs in force across the country, the average length of time people have gone without sex is said to be 90 days. At least, that is what researchers at sex toy brand Kiiroo would have us believe.
A woman who set her hair with powerful Gorilla Glue after she ran out of hair spray is planning to sue the makers.
When lengthy trips to the emergency room to remove the product proved unsuccessful, Tessica Brown had to fly to a specialist on the West Coast to have it removed with a medical solvent.
The 40-year-old, from Violet, Louisiana, was only freed from her nightmare on Wednesday after more than a month of being stuck.
I’m not sure who is more stupid – Tessica or the people whose donations raised £15,000 through Gofundme.
P.S.
At least six pirate skeletons have been discovered in the wreck of the legendary swashbuckling ship The Whydathe, off the coast of Cape Cod, investigators announced this week.
My barman Richard, like many people in lockdown, is considering getting a dog. When I asked if it was for his young daughter, he said: “No. It would just be nice to come home to someone in the house who is happy to see me.”