You torty boy

Dirk the randy tortoise certified ready for busy breeding season

CENSORED THE thought of breeding season has certainly brought Dirk the tortoise out of his shell.

Despite being well over 70, he is more than ready to do his bit to save his endangered species.

The giant Galapagos tortoise has regular relations with the three females in his enclosure. He has not produced any babies so far – but staff at Crocodiles of the World in Brize Norton, Oxon, hope that will change now Dirk has passed his annual health test. A spokesman said the 10st tortoise – named after porn star Dirk Diggler – “mates all the time”. He added: “He is really randy. This year could be the year.” Diggler, who was notoriously wellendowed, was immortalised by Mark Wahlberg in 1997 film, Boogie Nights.

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I want to thank my neighbour Reg for clearing the snow for all the neighbours. Ben, Leeds

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Thank you Steven for coming into my life, us becoming husband & husband and for always cheering me up in this crazy world. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love you,

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To my gorgeous wife. You are my special flamingo and are definitely a flamingo in

Eamonn xx

a flock of seagulls. All my luv xxx

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Happy Valentines, Lynne. Love you loads. Torky

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Thank you, Kate, for taking such good care of me through pandemic and for the support through Sadie’s illness and passing. Could not have coped without you, darling. All of my love always.

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To my darling Jenn. Love you now; love you then. Always have and always will.

Mum xxx

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Love you morerer, all my love. Fishcakes xxx

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Daddy Bear, to show I care and love you loads. From

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Love Always. Your Ant Xxx

Mummy Bear

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To Darren. L We get the M day so I hope yo

Tanya XX

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Happy Vale anniversary ous wife Gill. Lo

LEGEND Wahlberg as Diggler in 1997 film A RAMPANT REPTILE Dirk with one of his three ladies KEEP IT UP Staff take note of Dirk’s vital statistics