HUBBY SAYS HE IS TOO OLD FOR ANOTHER CHILD

Dear Coleen

I’m a 35-year-old woman and I have two young children with my husband. I’m desperate for a third and final child, but my husband is dead against it. He says at 45 he feels too old to have another and thinks now isn’t a good time with Covid, job insecurity and so on.

Personally, I just think he’s trying to find excuses because he doesn’t want to go through the baby stage again, which he found stressful. I do understand, but if we don’t do it now, I don’t think it’ll ever happen.

How can I deal with my disappointment? What can I do?

Coleen says

I had my daughter Ciara when I was 36 and my ex-hubby Ray was 42. The first year after she was born, I desperately wanted another baby, but Ray felt the same as your husband – he was happy with what we had and he also found adjusting to a new baby hard. After a year of being broody, I stopped feeling desperate for another child and began feeling content.

Maybe your body clock is screaming you’re in the Last Chance Saloon and it’s now or never, which was true in my case. Dealing with disappointment is a tough one, but you can’t change someone’s mind on a big decision like this. It will affect all the family and it’s a lifelong commitment.

I’m 55 and can’t imagine having another younger child now, especially in this situation we’re in with homeschooling! But I know how upset you must be.

I think it would help to be really honest with yourself about your reasons for wanting another baby – is it just an age thing? Try to look forward 10 years and how another child might affect your work, your finances and your relationship.

Think about the bigger picture and factor in your husband and your children. You might be being led by your heart, while he’s thinking more practically, but that’s not wrong either.

BBC1, 7.30pm

Kim is at The Vic describing her new business idea – a matchmaking service called The Fox Catcher. But what will everyone make of it?

Meanwhile, an oblivious Jean tells Kat about Phil and Sharon’s ‘date’, leaving Kat secretly irritated as she continues to hide her true feelings.

Elsewhere, Ruby is cross when Martin starts asking questions about their 12-week scan, knowing the dates won’t add up.

And Bobby lets slip to Suki that Ash got suspended, leaving her furious.

TROUBLE Ruby has 12-week scan