Let’s do this together

My vaccination is booked for next Monday, which is nothing short of a miracle as I’m far too young for it to be my turn yet!

Obviously I’ll be on the watch for any improvement in my 5G mobile reception but really the most I’m expecting is an extreme feeling of pride at our NHS and its remarkable vaccine rollout.

I’m also chuffed to bits at the Oxford boffins who invented a low-cost vaccine with an 86% efficacy rate, although I believe that increases to 110% depending on who’s boasting about it. As far as I can see, the main side effect of the jab is not being able to stop talking about it!

When I told The Dark Lord that I was getting the jab, she said: “Oh cool. Does that mean I can stop having a stick poked up my nose twice a week to stop the oldies like you getting sick?”

“Not just yet,” I told her, “but I have offered you up as a guinea pig to be tested for the children’s vaccine.”

“You haven’t?” she said, looking shocked.

“No you’re right, I haven’t. But I will if you make any more unkind remarks about me being old. Funny how your generation is anti everything except ageism. I’m going to start accusing you of gran-phobia!”

“That’s not even a thing,” Jesse sneered, although she has been noticeably quieter since I pointed out the Moderna trials on kids.

I didn’t get an appointment in a grand cathedral for my vaccine – I’ll be joining the smart-looking ladies in hats queuing round my local jam and Jerusalem church hall.

I know everyone thinks they’re getting dressed up to go out, but I think it’s more to cover the outgrown perms than anything else. There’s only so long I can go around wearing this beanie before someone points out it’s summer.

My follow-up appointment is booked for a few days after my 52nd birthday in June. About time being an old bag started paying off!

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.