LIFE’S A MISERY WITH DAUGHTER AND BOYFRIEND

Dear Coleen

My 20-year-old daughter and her boyfriend have been living with us over the past year through the lockdowns. It’s unlikely they’ll go back to university before the next academic year in September and I’m not sure if my husband and I can take much more of it.

Her boyfriend entitled and lazy, expects everyone else to clear up after him and contributes nothing.

The worst bit is, my daughter is behaving like him too, and shows us no respect or gratitude. I spend every evening quietly seething.

I can see what she sees in her boyfriend – he’s attractive, funny and charismatic, but he is also pretty arrogant.

What can we do to sort this out without causing a huge row?

Coleen says

My first bit of advice is to stop quietly seething. Tell them both what you think and how it’s going to be from now on if they want to carry on living in your home.

They should be doing more to contribute – shopping, cooking, tidying up and so on.

I’ve had my three grown-up kids and their partners living with me during lockdown and we have a daily rota that everyone gets involved in. It involves everything from taking the bins out to walking the dogs.

Stop letting them get away with doing nothing. Establish some house rules and get your husband to back you up.

I get the impression that you’re not a fan of your daughter’s boyfriend, but don’t want to alienate her. So, make this discussion about the house and everyone pulling their weight, rather than going into a character assassination of her boyfriend.