SO FED UP WITH MY SEXLESS MARRIAGE

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for 28 years and my wife has never once initiated sex. I’m so fed up that I am on the point of ending our marriage.

She never shows me any affection, although we have two young grandchildren whom she dotes on.

It feels as if I’m just here to pay the bills and fix things around the house.

She never so much as even sits next to me on the sofa.

We’re both in our late 50s and I keep thinking that if I left her now I’d have time to meet somebody else and enjoy a warm and loving relationship.

We haven’t had sex in over a year because I stopped bothering to initiate it. I thought it might prompt her to do so, but she seems completely happy with this arrangement. I want to leave because I can’t live like this.

Coleen says

Tell her then. You’re not ready to settle for a sexless marriage, and I get it. This is exactly why one of my marriages ended.

If I didn’t initiate holding hands, kissing and certainly sex, it just wouldn’t happen. My ex was lovely to me, but I also thought, “Right, I’m not going to initiate anything and see how long it is before he does”.

Two years went by and nothing happened.

His attitude was, we’ve been together so long we don’t need to do that any more. But I didn’t want to settle.

And trust me from somebody who knows, it’s much lonelier to be with somebody you get nothing from than being on your own.

But before you run off, you need to tell your wife how you’re feeling. When I told my ex, he wasn’t willing to change.

I feel your pain, but at least give her the opportunity to see if you can fix this.