HUBBY NOT HAPPY OVER LOCKDOWN BABY

Dear Coleen

I’ve recently discovered I’m pregnant with my third child and it wasn’t exactly planned. I’m 40 (and so is my husband) and our kids are eight and 10.

We’d been having a lot of really good “lockdown sex” (nothing much else to do, right?) and it coincided with me coming off the Pill, as it wasn’t making me feel great.

My husband is furious and has been sulking for a week now, as he was happy with our family as it was, especially now our kids are a bit older.

I suppose I thought the chances of me getting pregnant easily were quite slim, so I just didn’t worry about it and now it’s happened I feel quite blessed.

But how can I make things right with him?

Coleen says

Or maybe it was an unconscious “decision” to chuck away those pills because you wanted to have another baby!

Hopefully, your husband will realise that sulking is pointless and now you’re in the situation, you have to get on with it.

However, I think it would really help to listen to him and try to have some empathy with his point of view.

It is a big thing to take on the responsibility of another child, especially if your other kids are a bit older and you have some time back for yourselves. He might also be thinking about whether you can afford it and if you’ll cope with the broken sleep and the exhaustion.

He might even be worried about how your other two kids will adapt and how a new baby might affect them.

Of course there’s an incredibly joyful side to this, too, and that’s the bit you can talk about – remind him of all the wonderful things a new baby will bring to your lives.

But it’s important to communicate and understand the other person’s hopes and fears. Good luck!