ANXIOUS INSOMNIA IS RUINING MY LIFE

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my 40s, married with two children, and I’m suffering very badly with insomnia, which means I’m exhausted and short-tempered most days. I find myself lying in bed awake for hours and can’t seem to stop my mind from obsessing over things.

I’ve never been an anxious person until recently and I worry about pretty much everything. I feel guilty all the time because I don’t feel I’m doing a good job as a mum or as a partner, but I don’t know how to get myself out of this cycle. Can you help?

Coleen says

First of all, stop with the guilt – you haven’t chosen to get no sleep and feel exhausted and grumpy. We’ve all been through a challenging year – we’re trying to carry on as normal, but things aren’t normal and that might be where your anxiety stems from.

Insomnia is horrible – I’ve experienced it, too, like many others but, on the positive side, it’s usually just a phase, especially if you’ve never suffered with it before.

I think it would help to be proactive when it comes to your own wellbeing – take time out to try meditation, yoga or whatever works for you to help with stress.

Exercise is also really good for stress-busting and helping you feel more positive, and stay away from caffeine in the day or alcohol close to bedtime.

There are lots of good apps you can listen to at night with guided meditation and sleep stories (try Calm or Headspace). Also, set a really strict bedtime routine for yourself, as you would for your kids and stick to it every night.

Go to bed at the same time, make sure your room is cool and calm (and device free), listen to a story, podcast or music, or read a book, use a sleep mask and aromatherapy scents.

Consider counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy, too, to tackle anxiety. You can discuss these with your GP or find help online.